Day 20: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck...Apple beer?

   I'm really really really excited!  Mitchell will be home this weekend!  I get him back for approximately a month and I'm beside myself with happiness!  He will get to see the house after all of the upgrades!  The painting, the pictures I hung on the walls and now the office!  I bought and organized a file cabinet this evening.  I also found a beer (really its a hard cider) that I can enjoy!  It is called Woodchuck Hard Cider, a coworker told me about it.  It tastes just like rich apple juice!
     Work is going quite well, I've been seeing patients and giving shots on my own now.  I get along with the coworkers fine, we're planning on having a jewelry party and some sort of girly spa outing.  I got to talk to my honey on my lunch break and although it started off rough, my fault, it was still amazing to talk to him and get to share what I've been up to.  We spent my entire lunch hour on the phone! Tomorrow I plan on picking up my legacy scrubs, cleaning the house with clorox bleach wipes so Mitchell doens't catch the plague when he is home and I plan on hiding another welcome home surprise in his truck!

Picture of my coffee related kitchen curtains and coffee wall hangings! 

Yum yum woodchuck!

Day 18: Death bed

    There was a hiatus due to illness.  Apparently one of the cute little monsters I take care of decided to share more than just their love with me.  Friday after work I came home and napped for FOUR hours, got up and painted.  When I completed the painting in the living room I hopped right back into bed.  That is where 90% of my weekend was spent.  I played a little SWTOR, went to Walmart for decongestant and slept and cuddled in bed with my puppy.  I thought I caught strep throat since we've been seeing quite a few little kiddos with positive rapid strep, then I was wondering if I happened to catch RSV along with it since we've had a few babies who are RSV positive.  Now, in adults RSV is about the same as a head cold.  I swear I had multiple things going on, sore throat, nasal congestion, nausea and vomiting, mucusy cough, NO FEVER!  Now that I'm off my death bed and able to breath at night I feel much better!  Just in time for Mitchell to be home!  I was so worried that I would still be ill when he got home.  I'm even more worried that he'll catch the bug when he is home :/ so I will be running through my house with clorox wipes like mad Friday afternoon.
    I baked the friendship bread and it turned out AMAZING!  So delicious!  I did a quick little raid with my guild on SWTOR, we downed the world boss on coruscant.  We did a few group pics and our GM made a video of the fight!  I feel so nerdy and awesome!  Not much else to report today, I am going to include the pictures from this weekend and the tail end of last week to catch up!

Puppy kept me company in my sick bed.  He was even mildly behaved!

He gave me "get better" kisses.

I woke up to fluff everywhere one morning.  It was all over the bed all over the floor! I was so worried the puppy had ripped open one of my pillows or my comforter.  I got up out of bed and found this.  He chewed up HIS puppy pillow.  I was a bit angry that there was such a mess to clean up, but very proud that he only destroyed his toy and nothing else.

Entry way pre-paint

Entry way post-paint.  It is such a subtle color change it is hard to pick up on my camera but it looks very nice!  I am very pleased with how it turned out.  I cannot wait for Mitchell to get home to see his reaction!

Yummy yummy friendship bread!

Day 12/13: Buy day 12, get day 13 for free!

     I thought I would do a quick blog post while I'm sitting here waiting for my SWTOR to update.  Yesterday's work day was fairly uneventful there were sick kids, there were well kids, most of the kids had immunizations.  I did go out to lunch at Sammio's with my coworkers.  Sammio's was having their 7 year anniversary specials so I was able to get a GIANT dish of baked ziti for 3.99!  It came with a breadstick and cake ball for desert! Such a great deal, and it was quite tasty too!  In the evening I got to talk to Mitchell, we had a long conversation about future plans that got me all excited.  I love talking about the future with him, it means he wants to keep me around ;).   I talked to my granny last night, she was doing well, they changed the frequency of her nebulizer treatments, but she wasn't put back on bipap!  She said the MD would come and consult first thing in the AM to see if she could go home.  She joked that she wouldn't go home if they weather stayed -20!  She then said that if only the good die young than she and I would be around for a long time!  Granny also marveled at how similar my Aunt and I sound.  She was telling me that yesterday AM my aunt called to talk to her, she thought it was me so she started chatting away when my aunt asked "who do you think you're talking to," of course my granny said "why its Heather," "no MOM, its me, Kim."  I laughed pretty hard when she told me that.  I've always been told that I sound and look more like my aunt than my own mother, in fact, it used to drive my mother CRAZY that people would mention it!
     Today work was a whirlwind.  It went by quickly but was incredibly busy!  To top it off Stephanie's daughter was sick and spent the day at the office so we could keep an eye on her.  I was running running all day long, shots here, shots there, take a temp here, test vision and hearing there.  Call in a Rx, file those charts, measure that baby, soothe this baby.  Break for lunch and then repeat. Somehow we managed to get done early, at 1600, so Stephanie and I sat down and touched base with how things were going.  We talked about what I'm feeling comfortable with, what I'm not, what I need to see/do more of, etc.  At the end we traded more tips and tricks.  I'm very glad to finally have a supervisor who actually cares about nuturing my career.  I was told that I can stop by the local scrub store to pick up my very own set of Legacy Pediatrics scrubs!  I love getting new scrubs and I'm in desperate need of some.  My old ones are a combination of falling apart from use and being too big since they were from my fat pre-gym days.
     When I got home from work I organized the bill binder and extraneous bits of mail on the floor.   I ran with the puppy to expel some of his pent up energy and cuddled with him on the couch.   My goal for this weekend, not including painting, is to buy groceries and a file cabinet of sorts that will help me feel organized.
     Oh!  Patch is done!

Baked Ziti!

The drive home.  Don't worry, I was being safe.

WASD.  The WWJD of SWTOR.  :)

Day 11: Weak Tea

     Today I was allowed to do even more things on my own at work.  Where I still catch myself forgetting little things like adding the patient's weight to the growth chart (we write the weight in 5 different spots, I KID you not.  Sometimes its hard to remember what I've marked and what I haven't)!  How did you like that pun?  Clever?  Or too transparent?  Other times I'll forget to write the room number up at the top of the chart.  Yeah, STUPID LITTLE MISTAKES!  An insecurity of mine is that other people will think that I am unintelligent.  Well, if I keep making such air-heady mistakes they just might!  Maybe I need to dye my hair back to brown or red or anything but this blonde!  It really does not suit me.  I made a couple return calls to patient families, I even called in an Rx or two.  All of this office work is a completely new ball game for me, in the ER I was spoiled.  I had the wonder Aimee or Denise to do all of that dirty work for me!  I should probably send them a belated thank you box of chocolates....
     The first half of lunch I spent eating and studying immunization forms and the second half I spent relaxing on the couch reading GoT book 2.  I really need to finish that book, I've been "reading" it since September.  I brought home my awesome drug rep swag today.  I got a nifty tussinex clock and a baller FocalinXR stapler/tape dispenser duo!  I also got a few free ice packs for my freezer!
     I skipped the gym today because I wanted to get some chores completed.  I told myself I'd paint a bit more tonight but so far I haven't gotten to it.  I'm willing to gesture that I will not get to it tonight.  I put away the clean dishes, finished folding my laundry, and most importantly I attempted to enroll in Tricare.  Who knew this would be such a lengthy endeavor?!  Oh wait, its something Army.  Duh, everyone knows it takes forever.  Everyone but me.  I just spent an hour mucking about on various webpages that promise to assist you in enrolling ONLINE!  Yeah no, they don't.  I finally broke down and called the 1-800 help line at 1915.  Call center closed at 1900, fuck you, call back tomorrow.  ARRRRRRGH!
     For dinner I had a delightful tuna tettrizini, honey bran bread and a few pieces of dark chocolate.  I also added my milk, flour and sugar to the friendship bread!  A few more days and I'll get to bake up a storm!  I'm tempted to make this deployment-friendly cake recipe I discovered.  I figured I should practice now so I can tweak the recipe if needed before he actually deploys. 
    My granny was moved out of the ICU and onto the medical floor this afternoon!  I got to speak to her a little bit last night which meant the world to me, but made me cry like a baby.  She told me what she thought had happened, all about her nurses, and of course how they won't let her eat and have her tea.  I said she has to get better and be nice to the nurses since I'm not there to make sure she behaves, she replied that I can always fly up for the funeral.  I cracked.  Not only did I sob uncontrollably, but I also managed to lecture my granny.  Literally a good 10 minute lecture on how she is not allowed to say things like that, and that she needs to survive and keeps a good positive spirit blah blah.  My closing argument as to why she a)couldn't say things like that and b)couldn't die yet, I wouldn't allow her to was 1) she had not met Mitchell and 2) she hasn't seen my adorable babies yet.  Like a trooper, my granny conceded and promised that she would not give up or let go until she saw and held one of my little babies.  Now I'm convinced this will keep her around for awhile because she is very motivated to kidnap my offspring.  She actually said she wanted to kidnap my offspring for awhile, maybe a few years, then send them back when they hit the tantrum phase.  I've always been convinced that my granny will outlive us all, she is seriously a strong, fiesty, British woman.  Let us hope my conviction is correct.  Today she is much better, she is already complaining about how the food is bland, she needs salt, and how her tea is weak, can she have a few more bags.  This is all apart of her normal hospital cycle, she calls it the game she plays.  She even asked my aunt to bring her glasses, no not those glasses, the other glasses that I NEVER USE.  Bring those. I'm optimistic that she will be back home by the end of this week!  I'm very grateful for my aunty for driving down to take care of granny in my place, and I'm very thankful for the wonderful staff at Benefis.  They always treat my granny well and have gone out of their way to keep me updated on her status. 

Reading my book.  Of course I'm vain enough to take a picture of that.  My real excuse is that Mitchell will now know what I was doing :)

My lunch!  Yogurt, blueberrys, nutritious sammich (not pictured,) and paper.

Tussinex clock!  It is in the master bathroom!

BAMF stapler/tape dispenser duo.  You know you want one.

Day 10: Stress

   Although I was expecting work to be hectic, it went quite well.  I am gaining more confidence in some of my duties which is always a plus.  I got a text from my aunt around 0900 saying my granny was in the ICU and there wasn't much information.  Most of my day was spent stressed out hoping everything was ok.  This is the first time my granny has been in the hospital and I haven't been there to help her, or support her.  There wasn't a lot of information to be had as to why my granny was so sick, all they knew was she was having difficulty breathing, her BP would not stay up in a stable range, and her WBC were through the roof.  Her heart was fine, her lungs were clear.  I spent most of today waiting to hear about her test results and got none.  Hopefully tomorrow will reveal more.  I'm not really in the mood to do a post today so I will keep it short.  After work I headed to the gym where I ran for 20 minutes straight, yup you read that correctly, 20 minutes straight.  I will admit my calves are now angry with me, but I did it and thats all that matters.  The best part of my day, a happy end to a very crappy day, was getting to talk to Mitchell for 46 minutes.  He didn't have the best of news either that day, but somehow we made it work.  We talked, we bitched, we goofed off and most importantly I got him to go on a soap box rant!  We haven't had one of those in awhile!  I missed hearing his fired up tangents!  Needless to say we both will fall asleep happier after getting to talk and rant.  I love my husband and I am so very proud of him and what he does.  I am not always proud of or thankful for the military affiliation this relationship brings, but I will always love and support my soldier.  He never ceases to amaze me, how he can keep a mostly positive, headstrong attitude sacrifice after sacrifice. 

This is a picture of the pediatric nebulizer masks we have!  They look like a little dragon or fish when attached to the humidifying piece!  Super cute!

An adorable picture idea for our upcoming couple session.  I think I'd like the letter to say "always" instead. 

Day 9: Busy Bee

     Today I was a busy little bee!  For better or worse, I have yet to determine.  I accomplished a few things on my ever-expanding to do list.  I just have this problem where I feel like that although they are completed, they were not completed perfectly.  I've had this feeling all day long, about everything I've done.  I woke up and ate a quick breakfast, showered and through on clothes to go to the store.  My first stop was Walmart.  I picked up some rawhide bones for puppy as I've notived he is chewing on the wall in the garage and not his toys.  This is something I'm going to have to fix on top of everything else!!  I also grabbed a few paint drop cloths, artistry brushes, painters tape (they are cheaper here than they are at Lowes) and index cards for work.  Next stop Lowes.  I pick up a quart of an off white color to fix the hearth's trim, and a deep beige type color for the living room wall underneath the crown moulding.  I'm hoping adding the darker color on the bottom and leaving the lighter color on the top will add warmth and dimension to such a large open, bland space.  Third stop Michaels, where I find decorative wood moulding and a mider box to add to the built in entertainment center.  I didn't actually get to adding these pieces to the entertainment center today, but they will be added eventually.
     I got home, ate a quick lunch, unpacked my gear and through the dog outside.  Last thing I need is puppy hair or paws all over my painting space.  It took me a long time to edge the hearth as it has five different colors that needed to be touched up.  I only touched up the four I had on hand.  I need to pick up a quart of the lighter beige wall color to edge the top of the hearth.  After edging the hearth I figured it would be a good time to prep the living room walls for painting.  I started by edging the trim on two of the walls for the darker beige and then painting them.  At this point in the day, it was obvious that I would not be getting everything I had planned for the day completed, I was feeling so overwhelmed and disappointed I just wanted to cry.  I hate when I get in those moods because then I start on a negative nancy down turn.  The painting wasn't good enough, the house wasn't clean enough, I'm not attractive or my body isn't toned enough, I'm not this I'm not that, blah blah blah.  I had a nice piece of dark chocolate, took a few deep breaths and decided that  I will have to paint the living room in sections.  It is a large space, it has furniture that needs to be moved around, and I have a puppy that refuses to be left outside or in the garage for the extended amount of time that it would take the paint to dry. This makes is impractical to paint all of it at once.  I put away my painting tools, I threw in a load of laundry and dishes then cleaned out the fridge.  I also tried to get the dog's training collar to work, but it is still giving me trouble.  I think it was good compromise.  I still got a few chores done, even though one of them isn't completed.
    I made dinner, worked on some index cards for work and played SWTOR for a bit.  I just got a text from Mitchell not too long ago, letting me know that he is available to text back and forth so now that is what is occupying my time.  I'm sure I will play a bit more SWTOR, watch a movie and then off to bed.  I'm not too excited for work tomorrow, I know it will be a breeze compared to what I'm used to, its just that tomorrow is MLK Day and school is out.  We will see 16 scheduled kids (not counting the last minute sick calls) within the first part of the day and another 16 in the afternoon.  No biggy, right?  Wrong, we are down a provider and I still "don't know what I'm doing," so I'm planning on a hectic not fun day.  Hopefully it will go by super duper fast!  Then I can go practice my running and be one day closer to seeing Mitchell again!

All of my supplies unpacked and ready to go!

Edge of the hearth and the wall :)

More of the hearth

The finished wall.

What do you think about the colors?  You like?  You dislike?

Day 8: Adjusting

     I think I'm finally starting to adjust to sleeping in the bed by myself.  I am now sleeping in the middle of the bed and I monopolize the covers AND all the pillows.  Now, if you ask my husband he will tell you that I do this whether he is in the bed or out. The truth of the matter is that HE is the one that does that!  I was a lazy bum and logged onto my friendly new MMO, SWTOR for an hour or so to level my BH.  I showered and got ready for the gym.  On my way to the gym I stopped on post to check on Mitchell's truck.  I wanted to hide a gift for him in the console for him to discover when he returns.  I also thought I should make sure that a)no one tried to break in b)the horrendous winds didn't hurt it and c)run the engine a bit so the battery isn't dead when he returns.  It was so nice, warm and cozy in the cab of his truck I almost took a cat nap!  When that was all said and done I drove to the gym to do my thing.  I would like it notated here that I found my way ON post, TO his truck and OFF post without getting lost or frustrated!  WINNING!
    When I wandered into the ladies area of the gym almost ALL of the treadmills were being used!  This puts a serious damper on my attempt to improve my cardiovascular endurance!  The only treadmill that was open was one that was in the center of the room.  Go figure.  Not only do I have to run, which I hate doing, but I have to do it in front of everyone.  Great.  Now they can all watch my fat jiggle and watch me huff and puff after 5 minutes.  I managed to convince myself to hop on and do it anyways.  Now I don't know if I have just gotten to the point where I'm actually seeing improvement in my fitness, or it was because I thought I was being watched, either way I managed to run 15 minutes straight, no breaks, no slowing down!  I am so proud!  I feel like such a BAMF!  I have never ever in my life been able to do that!  I even had it at a decent speed, no incline though, but hey I'm a nooblet.  To no surprise to you reader, I lifted legs again.  I also did lower and upper back as well as a few ab exercises. 
    I took a nice hot bath when I got home to relax my sore muscles.  Then I cleaned out the garage and played with puppy.  I played my BH for a little while then I rolled a Republic character.  I rolled a Smuggler so I could play with Brian and Syd.  We played for a couple of hours until they had to make dinner.  I hopped back onto my BH until I got bored.  Now I'm blogging and will watch a movie and go to bed.  Noticing a theme yet?

Chillin in the truck.  In MY Oakleys and MY Under Armor jacket ;)

"Hidden" love note and gift.

Day 7: Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Yeah right, try lonely.

     I only got about 3 hours of sleep last night due to the wind.  My stomach was still upset, but not as bad as last night.  I got up, got dressed and set off to my second day as a pediatric nurse.  As today was Friday, it was only a half day at the clinic!  Turns out, we only see the little children on Fridays, their sick and well visits don't take as long as the school age children.  I gave shots all morning and am proud to report that practicing the safetys at home, worked.  It is still very awkward for me, and I will still have to concentrate on it, but I can do it!  I met an awesome little kid that has an interesting medical condition, its called cystic hygroma, google it.  That kid is the sweetest I've ever met and a very smart one-year-old!  I was very impressed with it's (not being insensitve by calling the kid an it, I'm deliberately not mentioning the gender through use of pronouns in order to keep myself from violating HIPPA) developmental achievements!
     We had lots of talk time and Doctor Hodges brought us all doughnuts!  All of the staff spent a significant amount of time looking at the wall paper options for our new office.  We also chose a few decals to go on the wall.  I'm so so excited to see it when it is finished, I will be sure to post pictures so I can revel in the cuteness with others.  Stephanie, Tyler and I cleaned in preparation of the big move to our new office building!  I also recieved my first paycheck from Legacy, a per diem check for my job shadow day.   We were finished with our work day at 11:30, I stopped by the bank to deposit my check.  I'm happy to annouce the Wells Fargo is only a block away from where I work.  There is also a Starbucks, Arbys, Zaxby's, Little Italy, and a gym, only a block away!  Location, location, location.
     I took the day off from the gym since I'm feeling a little sore, and wanted to save my energy for the weekend.  It will be better for me to get out of the house to work out on the weekend instead of sitting around.  It will keep me busy so I don't notice how I'm lonely.  That is the plan anyways.  Since I didn't sleep too well last night, when I got home I took a nice little nap!  I played SWTOR for a little while and then got to talk to my aunt and my granny on the phone!  Their exchanges are just priceless, and even though my family is downright cooky, I love and enjoy them immensely.  When I finished that phone call I got a call from my love!  It was so very good to hear his voice and we were able to actually have a conversation!  We talked for 45 minutes!  We got to converse about soulful things, as well as joke around with each other, sappy pleasantries were also exchanged.  I won't lie, I was sad to hang up, and although I didn't outright cry, I did tear up a bit.  I am unable to fully express how much I miss him, and I try very hard not to admit it.  I realize things will be harder on me when he is gone and we have little communication.  I also realize there are couples out there who are already going through that period, and I  feel as though I have no right to complain about how I miss my husband when he has only been gone a week, and I've gotten to talk with him.  I still miss him, a lot.  I played a bit more SWTOR to make myself feel better then watched South Park Imagination Land to fall asleep.

My first pay check!

I miss this handsome smile :(

Day 6: Legacy

     It was my first day at Legacy Pediatrics, not only a new job, but a new specialty for me.  I've always loved kids and I remember them always loving me when I was younger.   I still have the bedside manner for kids, it just takes more effort now that I'm older.  I'm wondering if it has to do with the realization that since I can have my own kids now, I am no longer 'one of them,' it definitely makes me nervous in my approach.  I've noticed a change in my mindset when I interact with children.  I no longer have the intention of only being their friend or playing with them, now I yearn for something more meaningful like making an impression on their little lives!  I wish I could go back to the old mindset where it was easy to approach them, I didn't worry, wasn't nervous.  Now all I can think of is "what if I'm leaving a bad impression, what if this is one of those moments that their life hinges on, something that will affect them into adulthood."  Simple example, think of all the adults you know that are SCARED of needles.  Usually it boils down to a traumatic experience with them as a child.  Whether the nurse didn't take the time to help them understand what was to happen and why, or if they weren't caring enough, or maybe they were just too rough and had poor technique.  I don't want to leave a bunch of ruined kids in my stead.  That isn't even mentioning the heavier things I could influence.  Silly I know, but at least I care. 
     My first official day on the job was great, everyone was warm and welcoming just as I had expected!  There was no drastic change in personalities whatsoever.  What I saw during my job shadow, was indeed the working environment I had now entered into.  Stephanie brought starter bags of Amish Friendship Bread, something I had never heard of.  I was a lucky recipient of a bag and I'm excited to try it out.  You have this bag of dough-goo and for the first few days you mush the contents around in the bag, around day 5 or 6 you add some stuff, then continue mushing for 4 days.  On day 10 you add some more stuff, making super yummy ready-to-bake goo.  You divy up some of the goo into 4 bags (to later give to your friends) and bake whatever goo is left over into "friendship bread."  Think of a chain letter, but it involves baking instead of forwarding annoying messages to your friends.  Tyler and I decided to leave our goo bags at the office until the weekend so we could remind each other to mush the contents around. 
     I was very lucky to see a wide variety of age ranges, and different type of visits during my job shadow on Monday, which made the day easier.  I was already familiar with the basic ins-and-outs of the clinic and the expevted duties.  In no time I was checking in my own patients and becoming the main correspondent between doctor and parents.  Stephanie was great to standby in case if I had any questions, and was helpful in providing me tips and tricks. 
     I'm trying to make a vast improvement in a personality flaw I have had since childhood, I have always had trouble receiving constructive criticism.  There is a switch in my brain that must be broken, because it is unable to process the difference between helpful tips and all-out attacks.  I always take it as an affront to my ability to perform the task at hand, I'm not doing it good enough, or they think I'm stupid, etc.  I've decided it will be healthier for me if I can make the transition into accepting this type of feedback, afterall its meant to improve me as a person and this case a nurse.  I am easily frustrated when I think that I am not perfect at ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.   Instead of becoming angry with myself and having a defeatist's attitude, I intend to hear what is being said and improve on it in whatever way I can, because the person sees my potential to be better.  I still struggle with this, and have to make a conscious effort to do so, but I'm hoping if I can do it professionally I can do it personally as well. On a personal level, I believe MY biggest downfall in my marriage is instead of hearing the good things that Mitchell has to say, how he is trying to help me fulfill my potential, I choose to take it and tear myself down.  If I change this it will be something Mitchell will not only be proud of, but appreciate greatly.  I'm not going to lie, I bet it would make his life a lot easier ;).
     Stephanie and I have identified something that I need to work on.  I will admit that when we first discovered it I felt like the world's worst nurse and beat myself up about it.  After a little processing I figured out the source of my problem as in what caused it, and a solution.  This not only helps me process the problem in a healthier manner, but it helps me feel more accomplished and not like a failure.  Win-win, right?  We noticed that when I finished giving the little kiddo's their immunizations I wouldn't safety the needle and I would set it on the bed!  This has endless bad outcomes and a nursing 101 NO-NO!  It is not like I'm a first timer either, I have no excuse!  It took me awhile, but I finally figured out that I am not used to the kind of needle safetys that this clinic has!  At Benefis and in nursing school our needles had the safety attached to them.  All you had to do was slide the safety up with your finger, or hit it against and object and it would be ok, then you could drop it whereever there is NO RISK of a stick.  The safety that Legacy has is attached to the syringe itself, it has a long tube that you are supposed to pull up and over the needle.  This is completely foreign to me! So in the hustle and bustle of giving squirming, kicking, screaming kids their shots, I notice there isn't a needle safety like I've been engrained to use and I'm caught off guard, I don't know what to do.  This isn't the habit I'm used to.  This is a perfect example of how we can get into autopilot mode and do not really think things though when we're stressed out.  My solution: take a few of the safety syringes home so I can get practice and not worry about making this mistake again. We'll see if it pays off.
     The morning visits went by very quickly and then it was lunch time, another foreign concept.  Not only do I actually get a lunch, but I get to take a whole hour.  I found myself sitting there wondering, "what am I going to do with all this extra time?"  I'm used to eating my food in 5-10 minutes since I had to sneak lunches at Sandhills. I had a delicious cobb salad, half of a home made sandwich and some blueberrys!  Stephanie had also packed a lunch so she came upstairs to the break room with me and we talked during our entire lunch!  It definitely made it go by quickly, and I got to know more about her and her family. 
     The afternoon went by just as quick and before you know it I was out the door at 1630.  I drove to the gym and did my little routine there.  I worked out furiously, but felt good afterwards.  On the drive home I started feeling a little queasy, I had attributed it to working out and not having any food since 1200.  I figured eating would help, it always does.  I made a delicious sweet and sour chicken lean cuisine steamer, single serve 290 calories and 22g of protien can't beat that!  I was able to have two bites before I had to run to the bathroom.  I spent the next hour vomitting.  Turns out my delicious Cobb salad was bad. 
     One Zofran, lots of sprite and many hours later, I was able to hold down some tomato soup.  I put in a feel-good movie to distract me from my illness.  It was around this time I noticed that it was quite a bit windy outside.  The wind only got worse, I could hear stuff flying around out side, the garage doors were shaking so bad it scared my puppy!  The poor thing had to spend the night in the bedroom with me, he couldn't stop shaking!  Even though he was scared, he did very well indoors overnight.  Luckily there were no accidents on the carpet.  I tried to fall asleep, but I could hear the house settling, the fence creeking and people's trash cans blowing over through my ear plugs!  At night time wind has always made me unreasonably nervous and anxious but in Montana it was never a threat.  We had awesome mountains that made it damned near impossible to have toranados, and if we ever did get one it was an oddity.  The week we moved into our house in Raeford there were three tornados in our area.  Two touched down in Fayetteville, appx 10 miles away, and one near our house in Rockfish, appx 2 miles away.  We were so so so lucky that the one in Rockfish decided to head the other way, towards Fayetteville and not towards Raeford.  Regardless it was ridiculously windy, and it ruined a few panels in our fence. 
     With that said, let me remind you reader, that over his Christmas leave from the Army, my awesome husband built our fence.  Most of his leave was spent toiling over this fence, he barely got a chance to hang out and relax.  So as the trash cans tipped over outside and my garage doors rumbled, all I could think of was our fence.  What if it falls down?!  When Mitchell gets home from JRTC he will be so discouraged!  I know him and I know him well, instead of blaming it on the ridiculous winds he would blame his "shoddy worksmanship."  Even if I pointed it out to him that the neighbor's fence fell down and their flag pole was busted, so it couldn't be because of his workmanship.  Needless to say, I didn't sleep very well that night.   By the way, our fence is still standing.  I would like to take this moment to say a preemptive "I told you so," to my husband.  I may have mentioned to him a few times that he built a very good looking, very hearty fence, especially for it being his first fence.
  

Amish Friendship Bread!

Our table in the break room.  The walls have really cute coffee related decorations!  I would love to have them in my kitchen, they'd match the curtains over the sink!

We also have a cute little couch and TV in the break room!

Picture of our awesome fence!  That's right my honey made that!

The rest of our fence.  Keep in mind this was no small task.  We have a backyard that is almost an acre!

Day 5: R&R

     Although I had a lot on my agenda for today, I took a casual approach.  If I'm taking the day off to get organized and destress so I don't bring bad joo-joo from one job to the next, I might as well make the most of it.  I slept in till 0800 and didn't get out of bed until 0900.  It was nice to be able to slowly wake up, not worry about being anywhere or how to avoid your doctor's wrath.  I watched the last episode of GoT season 1 (season two comes out soon!!) and cuddled with my puppy.  I made myself a nice breakfast and read the recent Bragg Newspaper.  Then I cleaned the kitchen, I did dishes, wiped the counters, swept and mopped the floor and I even cleaned the table top!  I tidied up the bedroom and office.  I also touched up the paint around the fireplace!  All I have to do to finish up the fireplace is pick up a small thing of white paint to touch up the trim and it will be finished!  After being so productive I wanted to have some fun, so I hopped on SWTOR for an hour.  Around 12:00 I started getting ready for the gym, no better time to work on my fitness goals then my fun day.  I arrived around 13:00 and didn't leave until 15:00!! I defintely lost track of time.    
     For cardio I ran as planned, I was surprised by my endurance, I didn't feel as overworked as I normally do when running.  I lifted legs, back and a few arm exercises just to maintain their definition.  When that was done I took a quick rinse in the provided showers and relaxed in the whirlpool for 20 minutes!  There was a familiar face in the sauna, someone I've seen at the gym before, but couldn't place her anywhere else.  Turns out she is a bartender and Jumpers, a local bar/pool house near post.  Now I remember seeing her there when Mitchell, Cody and I went back in August when I first moved down to Fayetteville.  That was one of my first small town "hey I know you" moments I've had here.
     On my way home I stopped by Walmart and bought a few groceries and a spatula!!  Its hard to cook most things if you don't have one!  I broke our plastic spatula when making breakfast last week and hadn't gotten the chance to replace it.  With said spatula I made a yummy asiago tortellini dinner!  Speaking of food, I'm convinced my puppy is getting fat, which is probably just his fluffy fur, but I still think he needs to run around outside more.  When I finished my dinner I ran about in the back yard with him until he was so tired he practically fell asleep on porch.
   I hopped back on to SWTOR and leveled my BH to 15.  I stole my own ship so now I can do space battles and travel to distant lands!!  During my SWTOR time Mitchell called!!  It was so good to get to talk to him, even if it was only for 7 minutes.  I've been really spoiled getting to text him, but there are only so many things you can convey through text and I was missing his voice something fierce.   After we finished our conversation I went back to playing SWTOR.  Now I'm looking at studying Pediatric Nursing a bit to prep for my first day of a new job!  I'm nervous but mostly excited!  I know there is a lot I need to learn to be my best in this specialty but I know my coworkers will be patient and helpful, AMAZING!

SWTOR Set up!

Day 4: Liberation

     Today was an interesting day to say the least.  After being offered the job at Legacy, I had intended to finish out the week at Sandhills, you know to show good character and all that.  Mostly I didn't want to leave Amanda high and dry with a rude doctor and grueling procedures.  With this in mind, I had also told myself that I would not tolerate any more verbal abuse from the doctor, enough is enough.  I work my ass off, usually trying to cover his, and all I get for it is harrassment.  The day started out horrid!  The doctor was on my case for "dropping the ball" on contacting a sales rep to return items he no longer wanted.  Keep in mind its hard to call said rep if I'm in procedure from 0800 to 1700, with no lunch and the only break I get is to prep the room for the next patient.  Most businesses shut down their phones after 1630!  However, its ok for him to leave incomplete charts and operative notes so that we are unable to refer patients out to get the medical care they need to prevent them from needing amputations.  They probably didn't need their legs anyways...At that point my mind was made up that today would be my last day. 
     We were busy with procedures up until 1600, with no lunch.  The doctor ran to the hospital and the business manager had left to go who-knows-where.  I neatly packed up my things, made sure all my projects were completed or organized so Amanda knew what needed to be done.  I filled out my timesheet made several copies.  I placed one on the business manager's desk, gave one to Amanda just in case they decided to be spiteful and not pay me, and on the doc's desk I left a timesheet, my keys and my name badge. 
   The drive home never felt so good!  I instantly felt stress melt away.  I decided it would be ok to have a day off from the gym and be lazy!  After all, I deserved it!  I had arranged to start work at Legacy on Thursday, leaving me tomorrow to get chores done and have fun!   I played SWTOR a bit, I watched a movie had a glass of wine and now I'm planning on going to bed early!

The commemerative photo of my liberation. 

SWTOR!

Day 3: Year of the Dragon

     I neglected to mention that I spackled the holes in the drywall yesterday.  I've been meaning to finish that for almost a month.  Yup, I finished it!  Next task will be to finish up the fireplace and treat the new fence my amazingly handy husband built!
     Today was a whirlwind, it went by unbelievably fast!  My job shadow went fantastic, I got to see all sorts of pediatric visits from well baby to sick to immunization catch ups!  I saw a kid from every age group, and I'm slowly picking up the ropes.  It is more in depth that we were able to cover in my pediatrics class in nursing school 2 years ago.  If I focus on how much there is for me to learn I feel incredibly overwhelmed, I just have to remind myself its like anything else I've ever learned to do.  Riding a bike seemed hard when I was little, now its as easy as walking.  ER nursing was stressful and daunting, but I mastered that too.  I'm sure all the ins and outs of pediatric nursing will come with time as I establish a routine.  But I'm getting ahead of myself!
     In the morning I followed around the RN for an hour or so then took over with the RN overseeing me, just in case if I forgot any questions.  By the afternoon I was seeing my own patients and talking with the PAs and Docs like I had been there for months.  I'm impressed at how easily we all get along, and how different the atmosphere is from Sandhills.  Before the clinic day had concluded they offered me a position which I gladly accepted. During the lunch hour (you heard me right, I ACTUALLY get a lunch at this job) I discovered that one of the PAs and MAs at Legacy Pediatrics uses the same gym I do, and they invited me to come to Pilloxing class with them.  Apparently its a pilates kickboxing hybrid class!  I've been planning on checking out the gym classes while Mitchell is gone to branch out and make some lady friends, I'm so excited to be able to do it with some people I've already met!
     After work I hit up the gym, which was packed.  I was more than happy to use the secret woman's room.  It is very nice, small but nice.  Apparently that is where the Spa Fitness hides their abductor/adductor machines which I've been neglecting terribly.  I ran according to plan and did some light lifting.  Yay me!  As I drove home I noticed the Walgreen's sign was wishing everyone a Happy Year of the Dragon.  I find it funny that I am so confident that this year will be an incredible one, and so far it has been, as my Chinese Zodiac is the Dragon.  Maybe when I'm having a rough time this year I just have to remind myself "I am the blood of the Dragon," like Daeneryes. 
    When I got home I quickly ate dinner, folded laundry and read the new employee policy manual.  I'm considering whether I have enough energy to play SWTOR or if I'm just going to go take a bath and watch TV to fall asleep.  I think I deserve a lazy bum evening after all that I've accomplished!

Dragon!

 Fixed the hole that I made in the bathroom :)  Please note the shower curtain is missing, it is folded neatly in the picture below.  Mitchell will be so proud!

Clean laundry all neatly folded and ready to be put away!  I even kept Courage away from it to prevent dog hair from spreading!

Relaxing with some candles and nice bath!

Day 2: Hopeful

     I've been so grateful to get to send text updates to Mitchell while he is at JRTC.  In fact, I just got a quick little phone call!  Definitely the highlight of my weekend! I just hope I don't start to rely on that communication too heavily.  I don't want to adjust to something that won't be there when he is actually deployed.  It helps comfort me now, I just want it to be beneficial in the long run as well.  I'm sure I'll get the occasional phone call while he is gone, I just don't want to come to expect it and become heartbroken when I realize its not always a possibility.

~~~~~

     I slept a little better last night, almost 5 hours! When I woke up I didn't feel as lazy, I did remain in bed to finish up an episode of Game of Thrones.  I played with puppy for a bit, I even cooked some sausage for breakfast!  Then I decided it was high time to finish cleaning the kitchen.  I completed the dishes, wiped down the counters, and finished my laundry.  When that was done, I meandered into the computer room and played SWTOR for a little while.  Little did I know the Mandalorian troopers I was attempting to defeat were not only elite, but super elite and poor old level 10 Lirael could not handle them by herself.  After dying several times I got frustrated and decided I needed a break.  I logged onto my various bank accounts to ensure my bills on autopay came out, paid my student loans, and cruised around on facebook.
     When 12:00 hit I figured I should get ready for the gym, if I arrive there close to the opening time there tends to be less people to compete with for equipment usage.  I hate having to wait to use the stair stepper, especially if creepy-red-shorts-dude is there, he is always on it for AT LEAST an hour.  Shower, dress, potty and feed the puppy, drive.  I arrive at 12:55 with a full bladder.  When I beep in with my key chain I notice a larger than usual amount of people in the lobby...turns out the gym went 24/7 and they only unlock the locker rooms, as well as the sauna/pool area, during the old gym hours.  This also means NO RESTROOM until normal gym hours.  I was forced to do the potty dance for "5 minutes" which ended up being 10, because the front desk lady was too busy flirting with an old, wrinkly ex-marine.
     I've always hated wearing shorts, especially if I'm going to work out, I have this thing where I'm CONVINCED I have the fattest, nastiest thighs known to mankind.  I've gotten used to the idea of wearing the longer woman's gym shorts, only because it gets too hot in pants.  I've also always hated ANYTHING spandex.  Most people look ridiculous in them, and there are always those overweight people who think they are hot sh!t squeezing into them, ruining it for everyone else.  I imagine myself looking like those people if I was ever to try them on.  When I bought my shoes yesterday I also picked up a few more sets of gym clothes.  I managed to find a pair of normal length shorts that I felt comfortable wearing. I even practiced a few sets of squats in the dressing room to ensure they covered everything the way I like.  Yes, I'm that neurotic.  After realizing I didn't look that bad in normal shorts, I figured it was safe to try on a pair of compression capris.  I wasn't too hopeful, normally capris end up being the length I need my pants at, because I am far shorter than the majority of clothes shoppers.  Not ONLY did they fit at normal capri length, but they felt amazingly comfortable and made my legs look beastly!  Not to mention it was all 50% off.  WIN!
     Even though these last two days at the gym have been close to torture after taking the last two weeks off, I've been able to sufficiently push myself.  Today I did an extra 5 minutes on the stair stepper, extra 5 minutes on my fat-burn cycling, as well as whole-body circuit training.  Normally after my cardio I'll just choose a muscle group to focus on only work on that. After that I'm usually smoked. Today I was able to work on EVERYTHING and did just fine!
     I am hopeful as well as determined, to increase my cardiovascular endurance while Mitchell is away.  I spoke with Amanda (the good coworker from Sandhills) about it, and she is totally game to run a 5k with me.  I'm thinking Run For Your Lives!  SO EXCITED.  But first, I need to get working on my slow, fat ass's ability to run.  I think this may involve stepping back onto a treadmill.  Something I haven't done for cardio since I moved to Fayetteville.  As a well endowed woman, I have always disliked running, especially in public.  This was slightly remedied when I discovered the amazing high compression sports bra invention.  Until I realized that creepers still creep no matter what type of sports bra you are wearing.  Spa Fitness (my gym) has all of their treadmills set up so that when someone walks into the building they can easily see and watch you run.  Ick.  It has recently come to my attention that there may be a secret "woman's only" fitness room on the premises, somewhere near the pool.  It is rumored that there are treadmills as well as free weights in this glorious room.  Whereas I have NO problem lifting weights in the guys area, this room would provide sanctuary for my running insecurities.  I plan on adventuring forth until I find this room tomorrow.  My idealistic goal: Fartlek.  My realistic goal: 5 min fast walk warm up, 10 min fast run, 5 min cool down.  Then 15 min on the stepper.  Everyone has to start somewhere!
     When I got home from the gym I finally changed my car's license plates to my new North Carolina plates.  They've only been in my car, waiting to be attached, for the last month.  I made myself a nice little salad for lunch, gobbled that up and resumed SWTOR.  This time Brian joined me and after fumbling around with vent settings we were able to pound out quite a few quests!
     For the remainder of my evening I hope to study some more pediatrics to freshen up my brain for my job shadow tomorrow.  I'll probably be nerdy and lay out my scrubs and pack a lunch to prepare myself for my "big day."  Then I'll curl up with either an episode of Game of Thrones, or the second novel in the GoT series. 
   I am hopeful that my job shadow tomorrow will turn out well.  It would be so nice to have a work environment that fosters friendship and fun again.  I am already excited to get to know Dr. Hodges, Stefanie (RN) and all the rest of the crew at Legacy Pediatrics, after one quick interview.  The interview I had the other day only lasted about thirty minutes, but I stayed for an hour, the last half was spent chatting with the girls.  Not only would I no longer have to stress and worry about my job/boss all the time, but it seems as though it would be a great place to make a few friends.  Something I am sorely lacking in Fayetteville.  Even though I pretend to be a hermit, I really am a social person.  I'm hopeful I will be able to kindle new (healthy and functional) relationships that will help me endure Mitchell's absence as well as increase my enjoyment of the area. 

I stole the Oakleys!

Getting ready for the gym.

   Peddling along!

Phone Panic

So there I was laying in bed, watching Game of Thrones, thinking to myself "I ought to text my husband to let him know I'm thinking of him on the off chance he found a power outlet."  Turns out, he did, and he can text back!  YIPPEE!  I had a brilliantly sweet idea to send him a picture of me curled up in bed, you know, that way I can sleep next to him tonight even though he is away.  Apparently my iphone had a different idea which happened to involve a coma.  After the message was sent my phone died!  Would not turn on, would not reset, I plugged it into the wall to see if charging it would help, NO!  The screen didn't even respond to being plugged into the wall!  I PANICKED!  How is my husband to reach me if my phone is dead?  How am I to contact ANYBODY if my phone is dead?  How are the jobs I interviewed for to notify me that I am awesome, and they want to hire me??  I log onto Myverizon to see if I can upgrade, nope.  I remember I have the insurance plan on my phone, but the Verizon store already told me I'd have to pay out of pocket for a new, fully-functional phone, because they no longer honor the old insurance plans.  Nice to know I forked out money for a faulty promise. Whats the next logical step? To look around at prices to replace my broken phone, come to find out, they all start at $300+!  ARE YOU FRAKKING KIDDING ME?  I break down and call the technical support line (on Mitchell's old ATT phone) where I am forced to press too many phone tree buttons, which could not even be counted on my entire neighborhood's appendages.  Finally I am connected to Pedro, who is oddly devoid of an accent for answering support phone lines at this time of night.  "Yes, yes Pedro, I tried to turn on my phone.  Yes I know HOW to turn on my phone.  Of course I tried to reset it, annnnd nothing.  Whats that?  You need to hold the reset keys for thirty seconds or more?  Then don't release the reset buttons until the magical floating apple goes away?  SHIT I THOUGHT IT WAS ONLY TEN, you know, like all the OTHER apple products."  End of story, Pedro fixed my phone with his magical geekness and I now have a working phone, again.  #Panicfornoreasonwhilemakingmyselflooklikeanass

Day 1: Routine

     They say that establishing and following a routine is the best way to keep your sanity while your loved one is deployed.  Somehow I doubt any routine, any amount of busy-body tasks, will stop my mind from coming to the conclusion that: the government sending my spouse off to gallivant in a foreign country, makes me lonely.  Regardless, I've decided to give it a try.  Couldn't hurt, might help. 
     Since moving to Fayetteville my routine has been this: work, house projects, gym, play with puppy, chill with husband, and the occasional video game.  There should be no reason to stray from this now that he is away.  Yet, this morning when I woke up after a terrible night's sleep, I had no motivation.  All I wanted to do was lay in bed.  I didn't even want to watch TV while laying in bed.  Just to lay there, staring at the ceiling, possibly drifting off to sleep would have been fine.  I didn't care to leave the comfort my bed offers me.  This accomplishes nothing, and I have no excuse to fall apart.  Understandably the thought of him being gone for JRTC for a month, coming home for a few weeks, then GONE with little communication for the rest of the year is daunting, but it should not keep me from being able to function as a basic human being.  That is just pathetic.  The thought of being a pathetic, moping, lazy wife was oddly motivating.  
     So back to my routine, this is the list I set out for today.  Step 1, shower.  Yay me, I believe in hygiene!  Step 2, going to Sears to buy new running shoes (they were on sale for 40% off today) and I've been meaning to pick up a pair for the last few months.  Step 3, GYM GYM GYM GYM. Step 4, Walmart.  I need to return the redbox video, buy toothpaste and various commodities. Step 5, return home to finish chores.  Laundry, dishes, sweep, mop.  Step 6, pay bills.  Step 7, SWTOR!  I no longer have to compete with Mitchell for computer time! Time to power level that Bounty Hunter! Step 8, actually get a night of meaningful sleep.
    Up until this point in the day I have managed to complete steps 1-4.  I am working on step 5 and plan to continue it tomorrow as well.  I think I have done quite well, I even feel accomplished.  I wish I could share my fulfillment with Mitchell, so I added a step 5.5: start a blog to document all the silly things I do while he is gone.  Whether he gets to read it now, in a couple of days, or not at all until he returns I have no idea.  It comforts me to know that he will eventually be able to look back at the things that occupied my time.  Not only will I be able to monitor my progress, but he will be able to as well.  One of the scariest things I imagine a service member faces when deploying is putting his/her life on pause only to return to it later,  and having it completely change in their absence.  My goal is for this blog to share the moments he is missing out on, so when he returns, the change isn't as drastic.  He will get to read it, experience it and feel involved. 
      I can't promise I will always be upbeat in this blog, that I will not have moments where I croon over how I miss him, or wanted to share a special moment with him, but I can promise that I will be honest about my experience while he is deployed and what tactics and tips do and do not work.  Hopefully some day I will be able to share my experience in the form of advice, or encouragement to another young military wife without the drama that seems to accompany military wife friendships.

 New ADIDAS Running Shoes!  On sale for 39.99!  WOOT!

Courage, our Cowardly Dog.  1/7/12.