Since moving to Fayetteville my routine has been this: work, house projects, gym, play with puppy, chill with husband, and the occasional video game. There should be no reason to stray from this now that he is away. Yet, this morning when I woke up after a terrible night's sleep, I had no motivation. All I wanted to do was lay in bed. I didn't even want to watch TV while laying in bed. Just to lay there, staring at the ceiling, possibly drifting off to sleep would have been fine. I didn't care to leave the comfort my bed offers me. This accomplishes nothing, and I have no excuse to fall apart. Understandably the thought of him being gone for JRTC for a month, coming home for a few weeks, then GONE with little communication for the rest of the year is daunting, but it should not keep me from being able to function as a basic human being. That is just pathetic. The thought of being a pathetic, moping, lazy wife was oddly motivating.
So back to my routine, this is the list I set out for today. Step 1, shower. Yay me, I believe in hygiene! Step 2, going to Sears to buy new running shoes (they were on sale for 40% off today) and I've been meaning to pick up a pair for the last few months. Step 3, GYM GYM GYM GYM. Step 4, Walmart. I need to return the redbox video, buy toothpaste and various commodities. Step 5, return home to finish chores. Laundry, dishes, sweep, mop. Step 6, pay bills. Step 7, SWTOR! I no longer have to compete with Mitchell for computer time! Time to power level that Bounty Hunter! Step 8, actually get a night of meaningful sleep.
Up until this point in the day I have managed to complete steps 1-4. I am working on step 5 and plan to continue it tomorrow as well. I think I have done quite well, I even feel accomplished. I wish I could share my fulfillment with Mitchell, so I added a step 5.5: start a blog to document all the silly things I do while he is gone. Whether he gets to read it now, in a couple of days, or not at all until he returns I have no idea. It comforts me to know that he will eventually be able to look back at the things that occupied my time. Not only will I be able to monitor my progress, but he will be able to as well. One of the scariest things I imagine a service member faces when deploying is putting his/her life on pause only to return to it later, and having it completely change in their absence. My goal is for this blog to share the moments he is missing out on, so when he returns, the change isn't as drastic. He will get to read it, experience it and feel involved.
I can't promise I will always be upbeat in this blog, that I will not have moments where I croon over how I miss him, or wanted to share a special moment with him, but I can promise that I will be honest about my experience while he is deployed and what tactics and tips do and do not work. Hopefully some day I will be able to share my experience in the form of advice, or encouragement to another young military wife without the drama that seems to accompany military wife friendships.
What a beautiful thing to do for your husband! I won't pretend to understand how difficult this period must be, but I wish you both the very best.
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